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                           The couple 
                          sat under an awning in the café at the new port. 
                          The old port, built in Roman times, lay nearby. Tiny 
                          fishing boats nested behind the thick, ancient seawall, 
                          which swept in a great curve beneath the village: a 
                          clutch of houses, winding uphill in a racket of creeping, 
                          narrow, scented streets. Behind them the men clustered 
                          at the bar: fishermen, and workers on the ferries that 
                          brought guests to the island from Naples and Positano. 
                          They were listening to the Tour de France on the radio. 
                          After holding back for most of the race, the Italian, 
                          Cipollini, was making his bid. In front of them, the 
                          ferry yawned and waited whitely.  
                        Wed 
                          heard the island was pretty, not too crowded. Afterwards 
                          he spoke of it for 
                          a long time, and always enthusiastically. I realized 
                          he had fond memories of our time there.  
                           
                        They 
                          arrived on a Sunday, fresh from the crossing. Immediately 
                          the island enfolded them, both glaring and soft: a siren 
                          calling to her lovers, drowning them in her blue skirts. 
                          A mirror gathering light, reflecting it with unbearable 
                          intensity. Don't worry about a thing, he told her. You're 
                          on an island in the middle of the Mediterranean.  
                        To 
                          reach the house we had to climb up a steep road for 
                          about twenty minutes. A great heat and light bore down 
                          on us. We hugged the faded pink walls, trying to keep 
                          within the narrow strips of shade. A lunchtime babble 
                          of televisions and clatter of dishes came out of the 
                          shuttered windows. Colored curtains moved softly in 
                          doorways. The street was deserted, intimate. We could 
                          sense the villagers eating, talking or sleeping just 
                          beyond the walls. We looked out onto rolling olive groves, 
                          and fields blotted by the dazzle of light. Mimosa and 
                          hibiscus glowed in clusters. The sea curling and singing 
                          below. 
                        The 
                          village was composed of faded yellow, rose, ochre houses; 
                          cool corners; silent, battered cats; laundry swaying 
                          on lines. In the hot afternoons old men in berets came 
                          out on the square, sat under the oleanders with their 
                          pipes. The street to the house where they rented a room 
                          was long, narrow, sunbaked. It ran between walls hung 
                          with weeds. Which threaded the air with a multiplicity 
                          of scents. 
                        We 
                          ate our morning cornetti on a bench in the bright square, 
                          then had coffee in the bar. It was while shopping for 
                          our picnic in the little supermarket that my stomach 
                          began to clench. I was in a hurry to reach the sea: 
                          to give myself to the powerful water. We climbed down 
                          the hundred steps cut into the cliff, and stayed in 
                          the rocky cove all day. During the morning some boats 
                          came, and went. We swam, looking at the schools of fish 
                          flying in formation along the shining waterways. The 
                          underworld was cool, green and restful. Tiny birds played 
                          on the cliff above us, loosening a rain of pebbles. 
                          I listened to them shrieking.  
                        All 
                          the restaurants in the village had outdoor grills. At 
                          the end of the day, the islanders cooked the wonderful 
                          great fish they had hauled off the boats an hour earlier. 
                          In the old port, gnarled men sat in the cool of the 
                          evening, carefully folding their thin red nets.  
                        He 
                          touched me last night. I wasnt expecting it. Just 
                          outside our window, a little tree whispered silkily 
                          in the night winds. He came quickly. Immediately afterward 
                          he dropped away. With haste I swallowed myself in sleep. 
                        After 
                          nightfall they sat for a while on a bench in the square, 
                          smoking. Myriad children of all sizes ran madly, systematically, 
                          in the yellow lamplight. The older people strolled, 
                          or drank at one of the three cafés. On a bench 
                          opposite, a little boy and a little girl sat quietly 
                          side by side. He clutched a huge silver revolver, she 
                          a huge blond Barbie doll. With obvious desire they watched 
                          the other children playing. They were paralyzed. 
                        On 
                          this tiny strip of pebbly shore an ancient face is carved 
                          into the cliff just above my head. A few feet away, 
                          fish fly lazily over submerged mountains. Water pours 
                          itself over the rocks, climbs the steps dug into stone. 
                          There she sits on a nearby rock, sunning herself: lithe 
                          and golden. I am aware of his gaze on her. I make myself 
                          look at him. He has become thick in the waist, is missing 
                          some hair; I have stretch marks on my thighs, and I 
                          am afraid. I fight the sun all day. I try to keep the 
                          future from coming my way: from showing up and smashing 
                          everything. I emerge finally at the other end of the 
                          long afternoon: riddled with dread. 
                        During 
                          the Fascist regime the island was used as a prison. 
                          Military police patrolled every inch of its shores. 
                          In the historical museum they saw a diagram of the guards' 
                          movements: formations of paranoid little lines combing 
                          the clifftops, back and forth, over and over. Did the 
                          locals hate the prison? she asked. Probably all worked 
                          as screws, he said. He was looking at one of the visitors. 
                          She was short, with long wavy dark hair. He could not, 
                          it seemed, take his eyes off her. 
                           
                        We 
                          sat on the wall for a while and looked at the stars, 
                          or tried to, it seemed impossible to really see the 
                          sky, which was all velvet, overflowing with patterns, 
                          and all around us the crickets, trees rustling, innumerable 
                          herbs releasing their scents onto the wind. Fig trees, 
                          cactuses, morning glories, pines, apricots, lizards. 
                          I both dreaded and longed for bed: for the possibility 
                          of contact no longer being withheld. He slept. I touched 
                          myself under the sheets, quietly and in shame.  
                        They 
                          went down to the village for dinner. The restaurant 
                          was busy with new arrivals. A few feet away, several 
                          luxury boats lay docked, lapping in the night water. 
                          The summer people were out in force. They sat in the 
                          wind, under the stars, and drank white wine. She wanted 
                          him to talk to her. He resisted her, successfully. 
                        Later 
                          in the night I found her letter. It was the kind I longed 
                          to write him. In the dream I hoarded it, battled to 
                          read it all the way through before waking up. But I 
                          was doomed. In horror and fascination I discovered him 
                          as a man capable of inspiring, and receiving, and keeping 
                          such a letter: it was joyous, promising, passionate, 
                          bewitching.  
                        She 
                          watched him watch the woman at a nearby table. She was 
                          lithe, with wavy dark hair. When she turned to look 
                          over her shoulder her smile was serene: that of a queen, 
                          sure of her power. She drew all eyes to herself. She 
                          really lays it on, he said. You shouldnt look 
                          so much at other women when Im around, she said 
                          tightly. He smiled. She knew that from now on she would 
                          watch all the women on the island: trying to catch sight 
                          of this one again, and wondering, was he looking for 
                          her also? 
                           
                        In 
                          the afternoon we walked back through the perfume of 
                          weeds, into the house, where we fell sleep. When we 
                          woke up nothing had changed. I forced myself to wait. 
                          After a while, he decided in my favor. He began to caress 
                          me. I didnt like it. Then I got excited. I felt 
                          sick. 
                           
                        Ever 
                          since she had begun to read the letter she believed 
                          every word of it. It filled her days with the novel, 
                          indelible magic of dispossession. She couldnt 
                          see how she had lived until now, not knowing the letter 
                          existed. She couldnt stop reading it. 
                           
                          I am afraid of everything: the cliffs, the holes, the 
                          vivid water. He is self-contained. His willpower crushes 
                          me. I have watched him so carefully since I first found 
                          out. My stomach is in a vise. I eat to calm my loneliness. 
                          I have been noticing all the weeds and touching them. 
                          They are papery, silky, scratchy, sweet.  
                        On 
                          their last night on the island they ate at the quiet 
                          restaurant near the old port. The black cat appeared: 
                          silent, grim, huge. He stared at her gravely, demanding 
                          propitiation. Delicately as an old man he took the fish 
                          head from her panicked hands. His 
                          great body was racked with scars. 
                           
                        In 
                          the room, with the wind outside, the bright tree at 
                          the window, he waits for me to speak. He waits while 
                          I suffer; it is a beautiful day; repeatedly my words 
                          rise up and die quick little raging deaths. I think, 
                          if I dont speak now I never will; we will never 
                          speak to one another. I look for a new way. Deprivation 
                          quiets me. His waiting fills the room with a kind of 
                          pitying silence. I give up. My stomach is a fist. He 
                          reaches for me. I accept his body once more. I find 
                          I am, as always, grateful for this temporary reprieve. 
                           
                        They 
                          carry their bags down to the new port. They have a coffee 
                          at the bar, in the wind. The Tour de France is on the 
                          radio: Cipollini is laboring up the hill. A new marina 
                          is under construction. Away over the pale water, the 
                          crane is motionless. At the next bar over, one young 
                          and one old woman sit shelling peas. The ferry crew 
                          plays cards at a nearby table. Everyone is listening. 
                          Cipollini is in the insane last stretch of the race. 
                          One by one, impossibly, he is overtaking all the frontrunners. 
                           
                           
                        The 
                          sky is light, cloudless. Small breezes move about. He 
                          goes for one last swim. I watch him wandering whole 
                          minutes in the smooth restless world, looking. He is 
                          free. Myriad colors glance off the surface of the waves. 
                          Their relentless beauty hammers at me. He is my life. 
                          I want to stop, or change. The Italian radio voice works 
                          itself into a frenzy. Cipollini wins. The knife in my 
                          stomach continues: it is mechanical, insistent, dull. 
                           
                          
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